When people share their lives with each other, there is bound to be some conflict. There is no ideal relationship and every couple has to go through their fair share of arguments and fights. While you might look at arguments as hurdles, they are also an opportunity to know your partner better. Arguments bring out differences and suppressed emotions which would otherwise turn your relationship toxic. By following a few simple rules, you can turn your arguments into an activity that makes your relationship stronger.
1. Be Open
If you’re at the receiving end of your partner’s wrath, don’t respond by getting defensive. You never know how your actions might have hurt your partner. Listen to your partner and be open to understanding your partner’s side of the story. When you respond, try to frame your argument in a way that is helpful to your partner.
2. Figure Out Why You Are Upset
If your partner is upset, you need to first understand that there must be a reason. People don’t lose their cool at random. Also, don’t try to assume what your partner wants. Try to find out exactly what is upsetting your partner and see how it can be solved. Get to the root of the problem.
3. Avoid Angry Language
Things can get pretty heated during an argument and anger is an emotion that makes you completely lose control over yourself. Make a conscious effort to refrain from using foul language or even using words like “always” and “never”. The hurtful things you say during an argument may take more time to heal than you realize. If it’s your partner who’s angry, a good way to keep things low is by talking as calmly as you can.
4. Stay In The Present
Every argument begins with a specific issue and then has a tendency to spill over everything that’s happened over the past few months. Try to stick to the issue at hand and be specific about examples and instances. This is the only way to know what the pain points are in your relationship.
5. Find Common Ground
Listen to your partner when arguing and try to find ways to compromise. A person who is angry looks only at the problem but if you can try to find solutions instead, your partner will at least know that you’re willing to take steps to make things right. Compromises are the foundation of a great relationship.
6. Take Turns Speaking
Instead of slinging accusations back and forth, let the other person finish what they have to say and then you make your case. Both people talking together will only complicate matters. If your partner is angry, let them finish their argument completely. Once finished, try to respond to the accusations based on what you know is upsetting your partner. This sort of exchange shows that you respect each other and are always willing to listen.
7. Use Time-Outs
No matter how much you are in control, sometimes things could get out of hand during heated arguments. So it’s important to take a break to clear your mind. A time-out can help you get a grip on your emotions and give you the time to think things through. Sleep over it if you can. Continue the argument the following morning with a clear mind. You’ll most likely reach a truce sooner than expected.
8. Never Threaten Divorce
Relationships are hard sometimes. When things get tough, you might feel like ending things once and for all. Stay away from mentioning divorce in an argument because it’s not the right time to bring up the topic. Even if you see that a divorce is the only option left, it can always be discussed later when tempers have settled down. Also, bringing in the topic of divorce means you’re willing to call it quits and that may not be what your spouse wants. Don’t be hasty with divorce.
9. Remind Them Of Your Love
Reminding your partner that you love them is the best way to console them no matter how heated the situation is. Saying “I love you” during and after the argument, giving a hug, and reassuring them that you will do your best will keep your relationship alive and strong.
10. Be Willing To Apologize First
You might be completely convinced that you’re not at fault but being defensive will only prolong the argument. However, if you are willing to apologize, you can immediately diffuse your partner’s anger. Humility can go a long way in making your relationship beautiful.
A fruitful argument has to end with both partners getting a better understanding of each other and reaching a compromise that helps them take their relationship forward. So make the most of your arguments because a beautiful relationship makes a beautiful person.
