Motherhood is a fulfilling journey that comes with its own share of ups and downs. And, when you go into labor, you have people surrounding you who are eager to meet your baby, completely forgetting how tired and traumatised you are. For them, it’s all about the baby. You? No one cares. There are handful of them who might ask how you are, but most, will push you aside for a glimpse of your bundle of joy.
It’s a sad truth for the moms. Everyone is more bothered about how the baby is. Who can blame them – for your newborn is a sight to behold. Everyone loves the baby, and the visitors would come in droves. You might be thinking, “I can’t wait for everyone to see my baby,” but before you plan to take visitors head on, pay heed to this carefully. 1
The author of this post, Laura Lifshitz, had no one other than her dad and herself see her baby at least for the first night that she was admitted in the hospital. She had her baby at 6:06 pm, after going through a 24-hour long labor, five of pushing and finally ending with C-section, she was really tired. Her parents did not arrive until the next day afternoon, and she ensured that her parents were the only visitors, at least for the following few days. When she thought that she is ready, and she has rested enough after her surgery, she welcomed visitors. Why did she do this – Here’s why:
Cherish The Moments For They Are Precious
For the author, it was her only child. For people with more than one child, its different with each one. With so much happening all around, you will never get back those quiet moments of just mom, dad and baby again. It’s important to cherish those first few hours. Then, there are always the first, the first time holding the baby, the first time nursing and feeding of the baby. Would you like to do this amidst much fanfare? No. So foster those intimate moments especially since those are rare.
To quote the author, she just wanted some privacy and time to simply “drink in what had just happened,” that she had somehow, miraculously, given birth to a complete new being. The author deserved some few hours with people closest to her, before all noisiness and craziness of people showered on her and the new baby.
Let there be quiet and calm for just a little bit more.
Nursing For The First Time
No one wants to feel anxious when they are trying to do something for the first time, especially nursing the baby. The author feels that it is important to keep it quiet with visitors at least till the baby comes into a routine, especially wait till the baby latches well instead of shallow latching, which is painful for the mother. Nursing could be daunting for the new mother especially if there are people to fuss and fawn over her. The fewer the number of people, the better the bonding. Moreover, even if there are issues, the mother can work with a lactation consultant to get things better instead of brooding over opinions of visitors.
Hello Hormones! (And Food)
This might come as a shocker, but the truth is that hormones don’t stop. At least not for a while. The emotional and crying moments continue too, so brace for it. Some women, like the author, also endure hyperemesis gravidarum during her pregnancy, which means that you finally can start eating after giving birth. Might sound okay, especially, how bad can it be if you have gone through this for the last nine months? But brace yourself, for after birth maxi pads, painful and bloody nipples, gorged breasts and pain while pooping, all of these are going to be there, even while you try your best to change the diaper for the first time. Therefore, feeling achy, crappy and emotional and not be surrounded by a gallery of people may sound like a good idea.
Falling Into A Routine
First two weeks into your child’s life can be exhausting, and therefore, it becomes necessary to schedule visitors properly. Visitors should not disrupt your routine. By the time you are home, your lives would go more smoothly as you expect.
No matter what you decide, it’s your decision to take on visitors whenever you like. However, always have an idea about the amount of chaos you want to invite home or even the hospital. And, no, (the author too agrees) don’t apologize for calling off some invitation. You don’t owe anyone for holding off on visiting. What you must do is be focussed on the newest member of your family.
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