Motherhood has taught me that its OK to let go of some things that were occupying my life - daily tasks, career, training for the next marathon. I am more appreciative of little pleasures, like a long hot shower. I am more cautious of my health, since now someone is dependent on me. My actions are also wiser. I don't need an alarm anymore because I am living every moment.
There is something so amazing about motherhood and I absolutely love it.
But, there are hard moments. There are days when I feel like I have no patience left. Mornings, when all I can think of is crawling back into bed. Moments, when I think there’s no way I’m cut out for this whole motherhood thing.
But, those moments are in the minority.
On August 26, 2015, I held Allie for the first time, kissed her head, and it changed my life for the better.
How Motherhood Changed Me
- I’m learning to let go. To let go of the day’s events, the day’s to-dos, and the day’s goals. I’m embracing the beauty of living in the moment and the unexpected.
- My career is on the back burner and I’m okay with it.
- I have so many irrational fears that I never had before. In my mind, the world out there is a permanently unsafe place for my child.
- A long hot shower is pretty much my favorite thing.
- I would rather spend time with Allie, than train for a marathon. As much as I would love to run a spring marathon this year, it just doesn’t feel right. Training would take too much time away from her and I’m not ready for that yet.
- I am aware of my own mortality. I was never scared to die before Allie and now I live my life a lot more careful, knowing my life now has a new meaning.
- I am less brave. Or, possibly, less stupid. Now, how my actions affect my family is my first concern in everything I do.
- I used to set an alarm to wake up, even on the weekends. I haven’t used an alarm since we came home from the hospital because we are always up before 6:30 am.
It’s not all about me anymore. Now I’m lucky if I even get a shower. My life is for her. Everything I do is for her. Not one second goes by that I’m not consumed by thoughts of anxiety, worry, joy, and pure love.
Parents: How has your life changed since having a child?