Sex has many tales to tell, along with our own private definitions, besides pleasure and pain. Historically sex was for procreation and kept a secret. However, what was once taboo is now a trend. A habit or show from the physical and into the digital through: porn. It is now such a normal part of life, that we can catch guys watching porn on their phones even on public transport.
Porn is said to be catering more to men, than women. Therefore, a partner is optional in the bedroom, because a man has unlimited access to a database of voyeurism of various kinds, just a click away.
Although incredibly convenient, psycho-sexual therapist, Angela Gregory has noticed an increasing number of younger men being referred for erectile dysfunction in the last five to ten years.
She claimed that in medical history, erectile dysfunction has is usually found in older men who suffer from cardiovascular disease or diabetes. However, the ones who visit her are men in their late teens and early 20’s, with a clean bill of health from their doctors.
Although a weak-link to porn access through gadgets, she discusses the case of, Nick, who was unable to perform in the bedroom, despite wanting to have sex with his girlfriend. She said that this was because of his brain being wired to porn for sexual pleasure.
So, let’s explore the various perspectives and solutions to how porn has both revolutionized sex for men mentally and almost emasculated them in reality.
Problems with Porn:
Fake NOT Real
For starters, it’s important to remember that porn is fantasy and not reality. They are actors doing the deed, with extreme upgrades done to their bodies to look as they do and are acting. Real-life sex is an entirely different ball game.
Escapism
Porn provides a means of escape from the monotony of real-life sex. Men can just flip through and choose what they want, whom they want and how they want it, anytime and anywhere. Therefore, that habit brings their performance down in the bedroom with a real-life partner.
Emotional connection
Porn has no emotional connection or feedback, it is shown as something abstract. However, real-life sex with a loving partner, is affectionate, and is the ultimate physical connection between two people, which is reduced to something graphic and exhibitionist through porn.
Consent
The way the porn industry treats its actors is rough, from the violent acts, to exploitation of women. In reality it can increase a man’s expectations in the bedroom, such as, what a woman should look like, how much body hair she has, to not having to ask her if it’s okay to e.g. cum on her face or even want anal. Nevertheless, there is a respect for women in real-life, unlike porn and consent is necessary from both parties.
Relationship Struggles
The partners of some porn-addicts have admitted to feeling as if they are being cheated on when their boyfriends or husbands are more aroused by the women in porn than them. Women in porn are shown as sexual objects, so psychologically men are wired to expect real-life to mirror what they watch. Therefore, women become insecure and want to help their partner, but struggle to, this then jeopardizes the relationship entirely.
Benefits of Solution of/from Porn:
Sex Education
Most countries, do not have a very great sex education system, so young men and women find porn as the next best thing to know how sex works. In fact, those that have not been with a girl, are exposed to porn at a tender age because of the lack of knowledge. This ends up wiring men’s brains to a single way of seeing sex, defining what a woman is expected to look like and creating issues in a sexual relationship they have with a woman. Therefore, sex-ed needs to improve, not stay a taboo.
Self-Discovery
Those who may be bi-sexual or gay, may not know much about their sexuality and would always feel curious or left out when surrounded by talks of just straight sex. However, watching lesbian or gay porn, enables them to discover what their sexuality is, with their own privacy and even meet like-minded people to talk about it with in chat-rooms on porn sites.
Keeping it Interesting
Porn, keeps things interesting and can teach men what to do for pleasure when having sex. This way they are prepared although with some expectations. It has even helped couples learn new moves or tricks to bring the magic back in the bedroom, to show that sex can be both fun and a deeper connection.
Fun and Love
Porn-addicts have admitted that they do love their partner, but are only sexually-stimulated by porn, not out of choice. Besides, addiction to porn has also been known to wear off as well, as it all starts to look the same and then men go out to get something more real.
Detox-ing or Moderation
Angela’s patient, Nick, like other addicts was mentally disturbed by watching too much porn, feeling guilty but wanting more. So, he went about 100-days without watching porn and slowly found his libido returning to normal. He was able to perform better than before and urges those that think they have this problem to get help, even a psychologist and not feel alone.
