It's very important to recognize relationship problems in the beginning. It may be unhealthy to feel incomplete without your partner, use substances to achieve a false sense of intimacy, being manipulative and unable to listen in a non-defensive way, being uncommitted to your partner both physically and verbally or displaying jealousy.
We all know that understanding and taming the beast called Relationships could be often challenging for many of us. And quite frankly it’s the rare couple that doesn’t run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you’ll have a much better chance of getting past them.
Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going. Here are some comparisons highlighting the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries we create in our mind.
Relationship Health Check:
Are You in a Healthy Relationship with Yourself and Others?
- Healthy: Accepting transitions and endings.
- Unhealthy: Being unable to change, let go and move on.
- Healthy: Being your own person.
- Unhealthy: Feeling incomplete without the other person.
- Healthy: Accepting responsibility for your own happiness.
- Unhealthy: Relying on others (especially your partner) to make you happy.
- Healthy: Achieving intimacy without the use of substances.
- Unhealthy: Using substances to reduce your inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy.
- Healthy: Being able to balance separateness and togetherness.
- Unhealthy: Wanting either too much or too little togetherness.
- Healthy: Having meaningful friendships outside the partnership.
- Unhealthy: Being unable to build and maintain close friendships with others.
- Healthy: Being able to see and focus your partner’s and, on your own, good points.
- Unhealthy: Always focusing on your partner’s flaws and worst qualities only.
- Healthy: Being loyal and committed to your partner.
- Unhealthy: Displaying jealousy and relationship addiction; being uncommitted to your partner.
- Healthy: Communicating in a way that is open, real and connecting.
- Unhealthy: Playing games; being manipulative; not being willing to listen in a non-defensive way.
- Healthy: Being open and asking for what you want, in a clear and unambiguous way.
- Unhealthy: Being unable to ask for what you want and denying yourself from the possibility even.
- Healthy: Respecting and accepting the ways in which you and your partner are different.
- Unhealthy: Blaming and criticizing your partner for having different traits and qualities from you.