1. OK, bedtime. I am so ready for this.
Goodbye, tiring day — hello, comfy duvet! Who knew making a person could be so exhausting?
2. Oh no, bladder. How is this possible? I just emptied you!
3. Ah, that’s better. Hang on. No. No, that’s actually impossible. I can’t need to pee again!
4. Body, I’m about to have a newborn. Can’t you let me enjoy my sleep now?
5. Actually, maybe I’ll be really lucky and the baby will love sleep as much as me. We could be nap buddies!
6. Ugh, I have that meeting tomorrow I need to look presentable for. I wonder if that Forever 21 dress will stretch over my bump?
7. DAMMIT, BLADDER!
8. OK. OK, calm down. Remember the breathing from birth class.
9. I really, really need to sleep now. But why am I so hot?
10. Oh, the massive, fluffy cat sprawled across my legs. That’s why.
11. What if he really hates the baby, though? Or sits on it?
12. Finally, the cat moved. I better pee again while I have the chance.